With my back sinking into the soft couch I typed in youtube on the top line. My computer warmed my lap, I can hear myself typing very hard on the computer. I took a big sigh and looked around the living room, then I grabbed my laptop and slowly placed it on the couch. I slowly got up and looked in the other living room to see if my brother was there. All i found was a clutter of video games on the carpet and his stuffed animals which were all over the place. I took a sigh of relief, thinking that he won't bother me for awhile I decided to go to my yard. I walked to the door and opened it, hearing the sliding squeaking noise of the door.
When I got outside there is this a view of the golf course with miles of green grass and golfers trying to hit the ball into the hole. I sat down on the soft cushion of the swing and started swinging back and forth a a decent pace. I started to singing while looking around the yard at the bright, varied colors of the hibiscus and the juicy tangerines which will be ripe really soon. In the middle of the yard there's a water fountain that is covered in dirt since we're too busy to clean it. I started to get into my deep thoughts and closed my eyes slowly. I sat there with my eyes closed, listening to the chirping of the birds and the talking of the golfers. The cool breeze came in and got rid of how humid it feels outside. I felt calm and happy, being in a place where I can sit down, close my eyes and listen to nature. I felt like i was in another place, and not in my back yard.
Suddenly, I heard my brother yelling "Tasha, come inside!"I opened my eyes, and got up from the cushion. Sitting down and resting made me feel more relaxed and satisfied. I look around one last time, seeing that there is no more golfers. The cool breeze settled, I slide open the screen door and went inside. That moment i though to myself, i should do that again sometime to help relive me. Its a special place for me, and to let my imagination take me away.
Your essay has a good structure. Just watch out for the misuse of your tenses. Also, in the first paragraph, you write about, "him." Explain who, "he," is, because no person was mentioned, and can be confusing. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI thought it was okay, but also describe more about how it's unique compared to any other place you go to.
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